i hate this part.

I had a really horrible experience in the online world before. I met so many fans of my team now who criticized my team before to the highest extent. I hated them and they hated me. Fan rivalry is what you call it. Then I met someone else, a fan of the same team. We texted and he traumatized me. He asked me if he could court me even if we just texted for a day. I was so shocked and didn't know what to feel, what to say. I asked my friends for advice, did their advice, and finally got over it. But I avoided the online world for so long, probably months. I was scared that the same thing would happen. Shallow, I know! But my mind was so childlike during that time so you possibly can't blame me.

Then i met some wonderful people in this world. It's difficult to explain but I had good times with them even if we haven't met yet. I enjoyed the group so much that I saved a lot of money to be able to enjoy unlimited texting every week/weekend. I endured every criticisms they made about my former team, even if they hurt a lot.

But sometimes, people just cross the line. They hurt you much without even caring! *sigh* I don't know but, for the first time, I wasn't patient enough to let it pass. Well, I did let it pass but deep inside was pain. Pain because I never expected them to hurt me this way. It's not just about fan rivalry, which is such a worthless issue compared to friendship, but about respecting one another. I've never been told such things straight to my face before. I mean, not in that painful way. It was so straight-forward. It was just, painful. It's not easy to explain but my heart was just injured or something by their choice of words.

I know that I have to just ignore what they said but whatever I do, I always remember what happened. It's sad, very sad to think that the friends I love are the very same people who'll hurt my delicate heart. I hate this part, it's probably the part I hate the most. I forgive; actually I have already forgiven them. But I can never forget such things, such awful things. They just keep coming back inside my head whenever I stay silent, thinking about the past or whenever I see things that remind me of my experiences.

I guess this time, it'll be about sacrifice. I'll just let them blab all they want while I'll support my teams in my own silent way. They're not all bad to me anyway. Why should I ruin my friendship with this group when only about 5 people were horrible? But the question is, how long can I stand all these without fighting back? How long can I let things pass? How long can I keep the silence?